Autobiography defamation activity

Autobiographers and memoirists sometimes face thorny legal issues when they write about aspects of their own lives that are inseparably intertwined with the private lives of others.

 Can a woman truthfully describe the intimate details of her sex life if, in doing so, she identifies her partner and aspects of his life (adultery, promiscuity, kinkiness?) he would prefer to keep forever secret?  Can a gay man write about his HIV-positive status if, in doing so, he effectively discloses that his partner is also infected with the virus?

 The answer is an unsatisfying: "Sometimes -- provided it is done the right way."

Public disclosure of private facts is an aspect of the right of privacy that is actionable in some (but not all) states.  While the prerequisites vary somewhat from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, a plaintiff typically must prove:

(1) publicity was given to matters concerning the plaintiff's private life;

(2) the matters made public would be highly offe